When we were in Saskatoon 2 months ago for the Body, Soul & Spirit Expo, I decided to play a YouTube video as we were getting ready for day 2 of our show. The video, recommended by my cousin, was of a dude that conveys spiritual teachings that he has learned on his own life path. I can’t even remember his name but what is so clearly ingrained in me is his message to tell everyone what you wish they would tell you. I’ve integrated this into my life (not as much as I would ideally hope) and it has shifted me greatly.
It’s crazy how a single practice can completely change the lens you live through.
Can you imagine how different encounters would be if when you walked up to pay for your gas at Safeway, you told “Evan” behind the counter, “Thanks so much for showing up to work today. I, for sure, didn’t have enough gas to make it to school drop-off. My kids wouldn’t have made it to school today if there wasn’t someone at this gas bar.” Yes, Evan is there because he’s getting paid and he’s doing his job. But how do you think Evan would feel if he heard those words (and knew you weren’t being sarcastic)? That moment would probably brighten his day for at least a few hours AND make him more pleasant and compassionate to the next guy who comes in to pay for his gas.
It’s really quite easy to bitch about someone. Sometimes when I’m doing it, I don’t even catch that I am until I’m deep into some story that won’t even impact the person’s life who I’m having a conversation with. I’m not saying that you can’t ever be frustrated with someone and to go find a sweet pair of rose colored glasses. I definitely feel there’s a place to hash our conflicts with a third party to see if you are the one being stubborn or unreasonable or to have a safe space to vent. I’m not sure why we all find it hard or why it’s not in the scope of our behavior to do the opposite. To put ourselves into someone else’s shoe’s and tell them “You’re killin’ it.” Or, “I really appreciate how you let me finish my complete thoughts before responding. There are so many people who cut me off and having you fully listen makes me feel like I can always be sure that you are hearing exactly what I’m saying.”
Operating this way brings me into total alignment with Love in that moment and it’s effects continue to resonate within me for hours and in some cases days. This is the most true in my relationship with my hubby. We’ve always had a really great relationship, but simply telling him things that I appreciate on a more regular basis has brought even more compassion for one another into our home. It’s truly amazing. Without me ever having shown him the video or without me even sharing the message I’ve been practicing, he is now vocalizing his appreciation for me more regularly and receiving gratitude from your spouse is so touching and warming it’s difficult to find words that encompass it.
Lifting each other up is what I wish to see human nature evolve into. We are at a point in our society where we are truly abundant in so many ways. It’s time for us to be celebrating. We get to choose our friends, our partners and to some extent our acquaintances too (like Joe from yoga because we go to that studio). I get a lot of joy when I remember to tell someone that they “really pulled that one off” or that “they speak so gracefully it’s soothing, like listening to music.” The look on their face makes me smile and then I’m filled with a sense of pride that I’ve brightened their day.
I’m challenging myself to engage in this practice more regularly. To pat more people’s backs in a completely genuine way, because we can all be lifted up a little higher and we all love to hear why we’re appreciated.
Love, Love, Love and Light
Jay
