My last few weeks have been filled with tantrums, colds and moodiness. Of course, it’s also a busy time for our business making our house even more chaotic. The last 10 years of my life have been highly focused around health and spirituality. Through good nutrition, movement and reflection, my awareness of how and why I’m feeling the way I do on a regular basis is pretty good (though there is still room to grow). Generally speaking, I maintain a great head space. Now throw two toddlers in the mix and let me tell you, there are days I loose my cool. With the crazy week I had, I fully expected to have moment in the day where I regretted my actions and told myself what an awful person and mother I was before processing those thoughts and letting them go. However, I recognized right away that this week was going to need a little extra patience as soon as the sneezing, signs of teething and headaches started to set in. Recognizing my triggers and focusing on compassion are the two things that have helped me a ton in managing stressful weeks at home, running a business, with kids.
Things I Do To Keep My Cool:
- Really Listen. This is a huge part of staying present. I get at eye level with who I’m talking to so I can connect, whether thats my hunny or my 1.5 year old. It allows me to read them better, see them better and listen to them better, no matter how irrational my 4 year old is being. When I’m looking at them in the eye, my empathy towards them shifts and I can settle into a better space on how to help them rather than focusing on why I’m so pissed at them.
- Being Aware Of My Hurdles. If I have a headache, everything around me feels way worse than it actually is. Lately, I’ve been able to go into a situation almost with a third eye, realizing that my headache is creating a lens on the situation. This allows me to step back and think, if I didn’t have a headache, would it be such a big deal.
- Remember That Others Build Off Of My Emotion. This is huge for me. Having kids has shown me how much we emotionally build off of each other. If I’m pissy, guess what, my kids are too. If I’m having a carefree, fun-loving day, usually the kids pick up on that too. In moments where one person is having a rough time, instead of getting frustrated with them I have been trying to check in with my breath and be a positive pillar for them to shine up to. It can be super hard to operate on a higher vibration when everything seems to be gong wrong, but when you hold yourself up, often people have no choice but to eventually come up and match you.
- Reflect Once Tough Situations Have Passed. Whether it’s a conflict with the hubby or a meltdown from a kid, once it’s done I personally reflect on it and then reflect on it again with my man or a friend. We’ve been trying to ask my 4 year old after each time-out “what have you learned from this”. I’m trying to ask myself that too. Obviously, this is a tool to help us grown the nest time around. In this process, I try to think about how their personality played into the tension and if there are strategies I can introduce to help them through it. It’s all about working with them as unique individual to try to find a proactive preventative or coping plan if the situation happens again.
Taking this approach has helping me be more “neutral” when conflict does occur. I am so surprised that through a week of little sleep, meltdowns and sniffles I’ve not only survived, but I’ve actually been able to really effectively manage my own stress. As they say- a happy life is a happy wife. As strong women in our homes, being a true positive pillar can totally reshape the vibe of our house. The best part is, I’ve had many more heart felt apologies by staying calm in conflict than I ever have before (when I used to flip out). By no means am I perfect and by no means do I have an answer to any situation. In fact, if you were a fly on the wall, you may have criticized everything I chose to do. The most important part of keeping your sanity is that how you choose to handle a situation works for you and your home. I do also find that diffusing or spraying oils in the house can help. Try citrus oils like Blood Orange, Lime, Bergamot or Grapefruit to uplift the mood of the house. Try calming oils like Cedarwood, Lavender, Lemongrass and Patchouli to set more of a chill vibe. You can also try some our blends. Our Harmony blend, originally formulated for tantrums. Our Unwind blend, to unwind some of the stress in the house. Our Hippie blend has a calming and grounding effect.
Hopefully some of these tips were relevant to you