I went from a party girl to a mom. Just like that… There didn’t seem to be an in between.
I never knew who I was or what I wanted out of this life before I had my sons. I knew I wanted to have fun and experience life but instead, I drank and stayed up until all hours of the night. So if I could tell my younger self anything this is what I would say:
1. Your self worth does not rely on how you look in those uber tight jeans! I mean you definitely look good in them, but you have so much more to offer this great big world than a great bum and long legs. You are funny, especially when you are sober. You are smart, although you should still take the time to learn as much as you can about others and the world. You are worth so much more than you could ever imagine right now at 21, and I promise you will not find it in a bottle of Jager!
2. Develop hobbies! Seek out new adventures, whether it is travel or painting or nature. Find things you love and that allow you to express all those feelings you are hiding behind that carefully placed make up! I promise you when you become a mom you will wish you knew what it is you loved to do.
3. Wear flats! Those heels are definitely smoking, but your feet are going to pay for that when you are 30. Your personality will draw as many eyes as your sky high legs, and it will be for much better reasons than those heels.
4. You don’t NEED a man! Having love is wonderful, but having self love is so much more fulfilling. Not one of these men who are staring you down or grabbing your ass are actually interested in anything you have to say and if you can find the love within the perfect partner for you will come along.
5. Forgive your parents and fast! I can tell with utmost certainty that this life will be long and hard if continue to be angry with them. It will be even harder if you expect them to be different people. Love them for who they are now and know that they are doing the best they can, just like you are. No one is perfect not even you and if you can love them for their faults, you will find love for yourself.
6. Be you! In 10 years you will wish you didn’t pretend to be someone else so others will like you. You will wish you did the things you wanted to do, without worry of what people thought. If you aren’t sure who you are right now, that’s ok, try as many things as you can until you know. Just listen to your heart not to the voices of others.
If you never listen to a word of this still know….We made it! It’s ok to not follow any of my last advice, because as a mom and business owner and a woman who didn’t do any of those things, we are still doing great now! We wear flats, we have beautiful boys, and so much love in this life it’s intense. We know who we are and we are learning to find things we love. We’ve been known to inspire others and our heart is in the right place. We are still learning and I suspect we will everyday for the rest of our lives. We cry sometimes but we smile a whole hell of a lot more! We aren’t perfect and we won’t ever be, but we also are ok with no one else being perfect.
If you do not heed one word of my advice, know that in the end it will all play an important part of who I am right now, and for that I am grateful. If I could tell you one thing younger me, it would be that I forgive us and I love you! Not one thing we did in this life was a mistake because here I am right here and now exhausted and tired and to be honest a little bitchy but so CRAZY happy, that I wouldn’t change one single thing.
One last thing Party Girl, goodbye! We had a good run, but now it’s officially time to lay you to rest and see who we have always been in our soul! Enjoy the ride; I know I am going to enjoy the new adventure a whole lot thanks to you!
Rachel
