Creating the Life You Want with Courage!


Creating The Life You Want With Courage

When I think about Courage generally something big like the guy who jumped into ice water to save a family or the mom who risked her life for her children come to mind. I never think of the tiny things we do for ourselves as courageous. However simply put courage is the ability to do something even though it frightens you.

There are thousands of things that have frightened me since I was a small child but the thing that’s scared me more than the monster in my closet, was me. If you read my blog much you know a theme in my life has been a lack of confidence and self love. Fear too has been a constant companion of mine since I have been old enough to remember. I was afraid of the dark until I was 25 and to be honest I am still afraid of the space under my stairs. But fear, confidence and self love all seem to go hand in hand.

At my acupuncturist today we were talking about fear and how that emotion affects the kidneys, and knees. The kidneys can affect the back and it can all affect the heart and lungs. I was not entirely surprised as it was just discovered that I have two large kidney stones, my knees have been very sore lately AND my back has been out of whack for a couple years now. Fear has been holding me tightly in its grip for far too long.

So why is it important to find courage in your everyday life? Well as I can tell you from first hand experience, fear holds you back from being the best you can be. It traps you in the past, and creates a shield around you that blocks everything good from coming into your life! It can create physical pain and discomfort which can cause more mental stress and depression. It traps us in a victim mentality, and perpetuates past scenarios. Until one day we wake up and think “What the “F” is happening to my life?”

I started reading a book last week by Debbie Ford called… Courage! Ha go figure right?! Anyways she has a quote in the book that resonated with me which is:

“We cannot have an open heart if we are carrying the burdens of the past!”

Finding the burdens though isn’t always the easy part. Especially for me as I am very good at rationalizing things with my head when I should be feeling them with my heart. Something I probably have the hardest time with is setting boundaries and communicating hurt feelings to people. In my family confronting an issue generally ends in one party getting defensive and stating why you should NOT feel the way you do, then finding 10 reasons why you were wrong and by the end of the ordeal you are confused, hurt and blaming yourself. The lesson I took from this was not to speak up! So now I have this irrational fear of telling people what it is I need, what bothers me and so on.

But now I am left wondering how do I unburden myself of these past hurts? Well these are the steps I take to help clear the garbage from my heart:

1. Acknowledge the fear! Do not push it down further and further, over time it builds up and can become so debilitating it’s almost impossible to function. Feel the feelings, accept that they are there, they are real and that is ok. Fear, Anger, Hurt are all natural human emotions. Accept that you have them.

2. Ask yourself what it is you are afraid of? I backed into a car the other day and was instantly filled with the fear that the people would be hella pissed, that my insurance would sky rocket, I would get a ticket, and so on. My first instinct sounded a lot like that Ikea commercial START THE CAR!!!! It was the voice of fear telling me to run but once I was able to identify that it really didn’t seem so bad. So I left the note with all my Info and then stressed about it until later that night when the man called and we had a really great chat, I apologized and he thanked me for leaving the note.

3. Ask yourself what you will lose/gain if you let the fear win. In the incident above what I would have gained was a whole lot of guilt and remorse to add to my burden pile. I would have lost self respect. Not things I am really interested in carrying around anymore!

4. Take action. If the fear is real, like getting your hand bitten off for sticking it in a lion’s cage, then take the action and remove the hand from the cage. However most of our fear is not that real, it’s a mental thing. Take the action and have the courage that will lead you to the right thing or your purpose. My action was to leave the note, go down to the police station to file my report and answer the call from the man I hit and offer a sincere apology.

Sounds easy peasy right? Well I know it’s not! The fear becomes scary depending on the situation and how deeply your fear is rooted. Talking about things that bother me is more painful than labor and I had a baby that was almost 10lbs! However my intention is to not let my fears control me anymore, to have confidence and listen to the divine guidance that is always with me!

Having the courage to face the small voices of doubt within you can and will change your life forever! All you have to do is want it, and day by day, you will find the courage within! The fear will lessen and your brave beautiful self will shine through!

Love, Joy and courage, from my big comfy chair,